*2012*

What have Matt & I gotten into in 2012, you ask?
Well, I'll tell ya! :)

January:
Matt & I have been together for 6 years!

We went on an amazing 5-day cruise to the Bahamas with some friends & it was awesome!! (We plan on doing that again!) By far one of the best experiences I've ever had. We were on Carnival's Fantasy & it was an awesome boat! Fun all the time & cute little towel animals. The food & drinks were pretty amazing! We loved our waiter! I almost got attacked by seagulls, but other than that, it was awesome! Freeport wasn't as fabulous as Nassau was, so I would recommend Nassau over Freeport. Much more to do there. :)

Before we went on the cruise, we spent the night on the town in Charleston. I can't wait to go back! It's an amazing city.

A few birthday's were in January, but other than that, no noteworthy events.

February:
I turned.... *gulp*.... 25.
It was a hard age for me, for whatever reason. But I got through it. And it's been pretty okay. Better than I thought.
Bella turned 3 on my birthday, as well! :)
This was a Leap Year.

March:
I'm pretty sure I went of my birth control this month (I know you don't care) due to complications with side effects I did not enjoy.
We went to Tunica with my mom & stepdad for his mom's birthday. We had Paula Deen's for the first time & it was SO good!
I received my ever wonderful, first iPhone!
Started a job at Dollar Mart Plus as a Cashier.


April:
Grandma gave us some scares with her health due to some medicine that was supposed to be helping her.

May:
Mother's day was especially special this year.

June:
Matt & I celebrated 3 years of marriage.
My grandparent's celebrated 54 years of marriage
Matt turned 27.

July:
It was hot.
I can't think of anything significant that happened... lol

August:
Smokie turned 3!!!
I quit my job at Dollar Mart

September:
I made the plunge & started selling Scentsy! I'm SO super excited about it!

October:
I began working at Bear Glen Championship putting course
Matt had his first week training in Louisville for Management with Kroger & I got to go with him. We saw our nephews, his brother & sister-in-law

November:
I got promoted to Certified Consultant selling Scentsy! AWESOME!
Thanksgiving was filled will lots of family! <3 December:
Starr had baby Aubrey Sophia on December 13th @ 11:05 p.m.!
We had a wonderful Christmas.
We got to see our sweet friends, Jon & Lacey Bell & have an awesome dinner with them! :)


Hopefully, 2013 will bring SO much more excitement, happiness & love!!! :)

Honesty.

I think I've figured out what it is I need from others.

Honesty.

No one seems to be honest with me. Everyone's sugar coating everything. Like they don't want to hurt my feelings. How am I supposed to change things I might be doing wrong, if I don't know any better?

Be honest with me. Please. I beg for it. Even when I ask for honesty, I still don't get it. I'm a big girl. I can handle it or maybe not. Either way, it's for my best. I need to know the truth.

My family. My friends. My husband. Just be completely honest with me. No, I'm not gonna like it. But ya know what? I'll work on it. I'll try to do better-- whatever it is.

Happier thoughts

So, I know my last post was Depression Express. I just want y'all to know that I'm not ALWAYS so down in the dumps. My emotions fluctuate just like anyone elses. We all just cope with them in different ways, and I guess that's what makes me... well, me. I am usually happy, but when I'm sad or upset.. it's really to the extreme, sadly.


Getting all of that off of my chest really helped me a little bit. Just getting it out there & not pent up inside boiling up to explode. I'm sure I forgot several things I wanted to get out, but for right now all of that is good enough for now.


We had a wonderful Christmas, although, it didn't go exactly how we thought it might. Matt was excited about everything I got them & had to play with them as soon as he opened them. lol It was cute. :) I'm enjoying the blu ray player I got for him, too, so it's a win-win! It's amazing how much better the picture is with blu-ray.. I couldn't believe it. I got the Kindle Fire HD I wanted, so I was happy, too.


We wanted to get up to Matt's side of the family that day, but with uncertainty of the weather & time constraints, it just didn't happen. I hated it for Matt. I really wanted to see them, too. Maybe we can come up with a better plan for next year. It's just a really long stretch in between our 2 families. :/ I'm really loving the relationship between Matt's mom & I. It's gotten SO much better & I just LOVE that. I'm SO super blessed with her & Ralph. They're the best. I feel like we've finally connected how I wanted us, too. I know some relationships with in-laws can be iffy, but I really do love that mine has come so far & grown so well! :)


I'm also so very thankful for the relationship I've gotten with my mom. It's better than ever, and I love that we're like best friends! It's much easier to grow a relationshop when you actually get to see those people. I felt like I was disconnected from them too much when I was hours away from them. It wasn't anyone's fault, it was just hard with school & work to get away.


Other good news is that I'm absolutely LOVING selling Scentsy. I was so afraid to start it up, that I wish I wouldn't have been so scared to do it sooner. I really enjoy it & everything that comes with it. We'r also trying to get our photography up & going, but it's going a little bit rougher than I thought it would. Hopefully, it will soon. I'm also enjoying getting my craftier side some workout! I love making the wreaths I've started... and hope it'll branch out into some other crafty things soon. I just need to hone in on my crafty vibes. lol :)


I'm excited that we got a new Christmas tree. It was still expensive even though it was half price after Christmas, but hopefully, it'll be much prettier than the cheaper one we've had. It's a 7.5 foot Skinny tree. Virginia Cone or something. lol It's pre-lit & has some pine cones in it. I can't wait to decorate it next year. I'll probably put it together once this just to see what it looks like. It's nice to have ceilings tall enough for a tall tree. Matt was REALLY wanting a 12 foot tree, but I just couldn't imagine DECORATING a 12 foot tree. lol Knowing my luck, it'd get decorated up to 6 foot & that's it. HAHA! :) I don't think I'd have enough ornaments for that much of a tree. Maybe SOME day we can have a 12 foot tree... just not right now. I'd have to move eveything out of my living room to fit the silly thing, anyways! Maybe when we get a bigger house some day & I have too much living room :)


I feel like this post is just a wish-wash of a bunch of stuff, I just wanted to make up for my last post that was all demons & daggers. There IS happiness in my life, there's just a lot bringing me down, too. I TRY to stay UP.. but it's hard. Just trying to get by just like everyone else. I hope that I haven't turned anyone away from me, but if it has, I'm sorry. I promise there won't be SO many depressing posts in the future. Hopefully, they're just a once in a blue moon thing! :D

100% Imperfect

Just FYI before you dive into this post, that it's more than likely going to be a downer & very depressing. So, if you don't need to read something like that right now, please don't hesitate to disregard this blog post. I have A LOT on my mind and it needs to get out. I'm hoping that I can get back into blogging more -- Needless to say, 2 years since I last blogged is a bit long. I'm also hoping that blogging more will lead to me feeling more Happy. The title says it all... right now I'm feeling 100% imperfect. I don't want to be fully perfect, or even a hint perfect, but I feel like I'm failing... and spiraling fast. I'm not a perfect wife, or the best one at that. Matt may say that I "am", but I KNOW that I am not. He's great to me, but I treat him like dirt at times. And I know that it's because there is something not quite right with me... not like illness or anything... just that my life isn't where it's supposed to be or something. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like a monster. I don't always show him the love he needs me to show him when he wants it to be shown. I feel awful for that. I don't keep the tidiest home... I don't like when it's not clean, but I hate to clean, too. It's a battle I have to fight myself with & hopefully, one day, I'll win with it. Matt doesn't like it a mess, either, but he doesn't have time to clean. He works himself to death to try to provide for us. I feel like I let him down. I can't provide enough for us. I try & I try... but it feels like it always fails; anything I try to do doesn't help. It doesn't go the way I planned it to. So, I feel like I keep failing him. I try to be better, but it's just never enough. I need to find out WHY I'm so unhappy with things, so maybe I can get back to what I once was with my happiness. I used to laugh, even more than I do now, & I used to be so different than I am now. I feel like I've lost myself, and it's my fault, not anyone elses. I know a few things that have triggered it to get worse, but there has to be more that made it even more than it was. I've always struggled with my weight, but for the most part, I've embraced my body & been pretty confident with myself. Here lately, that's slipping from me & I'm feeling more & more weight on my shoulders with it. Like more people are looking at me like I'm more of a problem than I really am. So many people are so quick to judge these days & I feel like I'm drowning in judgment.. not just from my weight... but other stuff, too. And I don't know what it all is. Yes, I am sarcastic. Yes, my humor is the same. But in no way am I trying to hurt anyone with it. I'm just playing around. That's just my nature of who I am. I would be distraut to know that I've hurt someone & never intended to. All I want is to make someone smile & feel loved. Not hurt them. I have immense feelings for people. Any people. I don't want to see someone hurting. I would give anything to be able to console & hug anyone that needed it. I want to help all of the anbandoned children of the world. I want to save them from any harm that could come their way. I want to make hurting people better. I want the world to be a more peaceful place, rather than the violent place it seems to be. There are so many good people in this world, that the mentally sick criminals are ruining that for the good people. You can't trust anyone anymore because you don't know what they might do. It's the wrong way to feel, but you have to be careful in the world today. I don't want to hear about anymore senseless crimes or murders. People are so easy to pull a trigger on anyone & anything these days, it's scary. Innocent lives are being taken that don't need to be. I just want the world to be a better place & I want everyone to be happy again. I want to be happy again. I want to make everyone happy. My family. My friends. Anyone I come into contact with. I don't want anyone to have a negative thought abuot me. I just want to have friends. It's the hardest thing to make & keep friends right now, for some reason. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm disappointing my family. I'm not at the right job, I'm not making enough money, I'm not using the degree I went to school for, I'm too fat. I'm not pregnant... not to mention, I don't know if I can even *GET* pregnant right now. We aren't necessarily TRYING, but we're not preventing it, either. I haven't been on birth control since March. I'd be ecstatic if I got pregnant right now, but it's just not happening. The constant reminder that I'm not pregnant is deafening. Friends, parents, family, Matt, strangers... "When are you two going to have a baby?" "When am I going to be a grandparent?" "You should have a baby!" These all would irritate me for a couple years in the beginning... but now, I'd be okay with it. And it just feels like it won't happen. I'm ove the moon with adopting, but I would love & know Matt would love more than anything to have our own. I've wanted to adopt since I was 16 years old & I always feel pulled towards it. I get signs all the time & finding out about a couple that I know adopting a baby suffering from meth withdrawals from his birth mother, made me feel even more pulled towards it than I have in a long time. It's something I want. Maybe not right now. Maybe not in a couple years. But it's something that I feel that my life needs at some point. I want to help all those lonely children find their own happy ending. I want to help mothers out of abusing situations... I just want a better life for those that are more than deserving of it. I want a better life more myself & I don't know how to get there. I've got to find my happy... I don't know where mine went. I want to make others happy. I want to make Matt happy. I want to make my family happy & bring happiness to anyone I encounter. I'm just me & I want others to see that. I want to know why people just act like they don't like me. Yes, I say some negative things. Yes, I say some positive things. I try not to post so much of the negative. But, that's what life is. Full of UPS & DOWNS. Getting raked over the coals for saying a couple negative things... and then being upbeat & getting raked over the coals for being too happy. You can't please anyone anymore. I don't like to cause drama, but I also don't like to be screwed over & people thinking I'm a pushover. I guess that's when my stronger personality comes out & people think that's who I am. I'm a very loving & compassionate person, but I don't want anyone to take advantage of me. I often voice that, and that's probably the problem with people liking me. No one wants to be taken advantage of, and I guess I haven't found the right people that won't take advantage of me. I will normally call you out on it, I'm a strong & loud woman. I don't want to take any crap, but I also want to love you & help you when I can. If you're gonna say you live a certain way, don't contradict that by living the complete opposite. You say your a Godly person & that you want people to remember you for how you made them feel... then don't purposely do things that don't support that. Don't make people feel like the scum on the bottom of your shoe. Don't be like the girls in the movie "Mean Girls". You are judging people very harshly & then demanding not to be judged by others yourself. I'm not trying to rake anyone over the coals here, either. Just stating my opinion. But I need happiness in my life. I'm not going to live with myself by keeping bad people in my life. I always hope for the best in people & maybe that's why I get stomped all over. I always hope that people will become better people. But normally, in the end, I'm the one hurting over it & they could care less. I want my family & friends to love me unconditionally. Yes, I need to make some things better for myself in my life, but I also need support in making that happen. I don't want to be torn down anymore. I want to be the real me again. I feel fake when I talk to people, because I don't want to lose anyone as a friend because they just didn't like who I am. I used to not have to worry about that. But it feels like people are so quick to drop people these days. I just want to hold onto someone as a friend. I feel like I don't have anyone to turn to when I need them. I've gotten closer with my mom, but I need someone else that I can turn to, as well. Ya know? I'm sorry this is full of negativity. But I had to find SOMEWHERE to get some of this off of me somehow. I'm hoping that this can help me get back to ME. HAPPY GO LUCKY ME! So, please, if you read this.... PLEASE please PLEASE pray for me. I don't know what you need to pray for me for... but just pray for me. I need to get back to myself & I just want to be happy & the light of someone's life. I don't want to over think things anymore. I just want to go on with my life & accept everything that comes my way positively. I want to be a better wife & house keeper for Matt. I want him to know that I love him, no matter what my mood is. I want my family to be proud of me like they once were, instead of feeling like everything I do with my life doesn't make them proud of me. I want at least one best friend that I can giggle & be silly with, but also be serious with & call on when I need them. I want someone to feel the same way about me that I'm who they can call when they need someone. That's all I want. I want to be wanted.

2010: Recap of the year...

So, I didn't realize it'd been OVER a year since I'd last posted on here. What a shame. Here goes...

JANUARY:
1. 7th- I celebrated 4 years with the love of my life, Matt.
2. 7th- The day that my step cousin, Felicity, was murdered by her mother's boyfriend.
3. 17th- My 2nd nephew, David Noah Gould, was born.
4. 15th- This was the last day at my job at Reeves-Sain.
5. I started my internship at UT Extension in Wilson County soon after my last day at my job.
6. The week after I started the internship, I began having issues with my period that I didn't realize were real issues until MUCH later.

February:
1. 7th- I turned 23 years old. Blah. Lol...
2. 7th- Bella, our puppy, turned 1 year old!!! :)
3. This month is pretty much a blur to me...
4. I do know there HAD to be some packing of our things during this month.
5. We went to see John Mayer in concert for my birthday! It was wonderful.
6. My father in law had 2 strokes around Valentine's Day. It's been an awful experience and hard for him to recoup, even after all these months. He's slowly but surely getting back to himself, but finding a job has been his worst enemy.

March:
1. We signed a lease to move into our new place at Saddlebrook Apartments!!!!! :)
2. 12th- My mother in law's birthday!
3. 12th- This day was also the day we got to move into our new apartment!
4. 12th- This day was, however, also the day I lost my wedding rings. :(( They were only taken off for me to take a shower at the new place after moving all day. And they were sat at the very back of the counter... so they wouldn't fall off. We still, to this day, do NOT know where they went. :((
5. The rest of this month is also a blur to me...
6. My mom had surgery on her right foot to correct the tendonitis that formed in it.

April:
1. I ended up going to the gynecologist to find out WHY I had been having periods for 4 weeks, with only 1 week breaks in between, for 3 months. I was VERY scared & went through a ton of tests. Everything seemed to be fine, as far as my body went. And birth control was a last resort.... Unfortunately, it only ended up being the 2nd remedy tried. I'm still on it to this day. I'd rather NOT be...
2. I also found out that, APPARENTLY, I was the worst intern at my internship. Although, I wasn't told of this until 8 days before the internship ended & left with NO time to better myself with them.
3. Very trying times this month, as I was tested, beaten, burned and thrown to the lion's. Needless to say, I became pretty depressed.

May:
1. 8th- Only the best day in my life, besides my wedding day. I *FINALLY* graduated from MTSU, after 5 years worth of a roller coaster ride. I couldn't have been happier that day to graduate. It was finally over & I could breathe again.
2. 1st-2nd: The history-making Floods came through Tennessee. Nashville was destroyed as we got rain and more rain. The interstates had to be shut down. There was even a building that floated down one interstate, being one very shocking thing to watch. Many people were out of their homes, losing everything they had. Many people raised money & donated what they could to help.
3. However, the job market absolutely SUCKED and from this point forward, I remain jobless & searching

June:
1. 7th- Mine & Matt's ONE YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! It flew by SO quickly! But, it was the best year ever. I love him as much as I did the day I married him & more. We had a pretty relaxed evening & just enjoyed each other's company.
2. 12th- I celebrated a new friend's birthday with her! Linda!!

July:
1. WEDDING PLANNING AWRY! Jaime got married the 24th. It was SO hot! 105 degrees, we were pools of sweat.... but she got hitched!
2. More job hunting... and more rejection...
3. Dad came home for good from being in North Carolina for 2 years for his job...

August:
This month is not ringing any bells for me. I still had no job... and all I did was lay around & feel worthless. This is all I can remember.
I do know, that we did grill out a lot at my dad's & we went out to eat with them many times since dad had been back.

September:
1. Labor Day sure was fun!!! Matt & I got to spend it with our wonderful family at his parent's house. It was so nice to be able to just relax & get to know his family. It's hard to get us all together in one place! We had fun watching the kiddo's play.
2. 20th- My mom had surgery on her other foot for the same thing she got done to her right foot. I stayed with her for a full month to take care of her. It was the best time I'd had & I loved spending time with her. Over the years, it's been hard for me to get home to see her & the rest of the family. We got really close once again & I cherished every moment I spent with her. Especially after finding out a girl my age I know lost her mother to breast cancer. I bawled my eyes out for the rest of the night, because I have no clue how I'd be able to even get through something like that & losing my mom so young. I even went in her room & hugged my mom and told her how much I loved her. You never know when the last time you'll see someone is. Life really is short & you have to let those you love know that you love them every day.
3. Surgery sucks. I hope I never have to go through that. I felt bad for mom not being able to do much, but she VERY much enjoyed me waiting on her lol.
4. I got to eat with my Grandparents & my mom on many of the Tuesday's they go to Brass Lantern! I enjoy time with my wonderful family!

October:
1. 23rd- Mom & I went to a bonfire at Cindy & Terry's house for Halloween! It was so much fun... but VERY cold!!
2. Matt & I carved an awesome pumpkin... very last minute. lol It was the Headless Horseman. We had fun doing it, though.

November:
1. 3rd- Donna & I took Austin to the Discovery center. He came to spend the whole week in Tennessee with them, so we tried to entertain him.... lol
2. Thanksgiving was spent at Matt's grandma's house with all of his family, and at my grandma's house with all of my family. It was a very family-filled holiday & we stuffed ourselves full!!!
3. 19th- Matt & I headed to Memphis to go to my cousin Josh's wedding on the 20th. It was a very fun weekend & we were very glad to get our first getaway of the year.... even if it was still in Tennessee. It was filled with hanging out with family & having fun. I'm glad we got to go... I hope we can get down there again soon!
4. 26th- I started my seasonal job at Early's Honey Stand in Spring Hill. It was very overwhelming at first.

December:
1. 12th- My cousin came to stay with us because we'd gotten tons of snow & was afraid to drive home from school. We had SO much fun playing in the snow that night & got some fun pictures! We'd also bought a 3 foot white Christmas tree to decorate while we were out earlier & put that up.
2. My job at Early's was up & down... it could be very stressful, but it could also be very fun. I LOVED everyone I worked with & it was one of the best jobs I've ever had. I especially enjoyed getting to know my friend, Kalie, much better! We get along great!
3. 24th- Last day at my job.... very sad day. However, I did get to go home to my mom's for Christmas Eve with them & have our gift opening that night! :) So much fun & I got everything I asked for!! We had TONS of fun.
4. 25th- Breakfast at Grandma's EARLY!!!! Still yummy as ever & Pop even cut our biscuits for us! :) Lunch at Matt's grandma's in Lebanon... fun times!
5. Later Christmas night, after a long nap, Matt & I went to see his brother, sis in law, & our nephews at his parent's while they were in town. We had fun playing with Austin & baby David. When leaving, we had trouble driving on the ice and were rescued by Matt's dad & left 2 hrs after that to go home.

This year has had few ups, and many downs. I have become much stronger in my faith & allowing GOD to get us through what we can not get ourselves through. HE's the only way we have survived this year. There's no other way to explain it. I really did not know how we were going to make it some months... but miraculously, we did. I could not be more grateful for a Saving Grace. I've relied on the LORD more this year, than I think I ever have in my life... and it's opened my eyes to giving myself up to him. I've always had problems doing so, but this year, I've had NO problems with it. I've prayed more than I even know... and I had a lot of trouble doing this... but now it's daily, if not several times a day. I know HE will get me through anything, and I also know that HE wouldn't put us through trials and tribulations if we were not meant to be.

Matt was given a promotion at work so that we could get through this, I fully believe. There's a reason I haven't been able to find a job since January, I know it. And I think it was in order for me to GROW in my belief & letting me know that I can't control everything. We've also lost many friends this year... and we don't know why. I know it's also something that happens for a reason, but it can be very sad & depressing to go through. I've never felt this way before.... not having a friend to go to. Sure, we have a few friends.... but a lot of times, they were unreachable for us. Our family has also been our saving grace... without them, we really don't know where we'd be. They're strong for us & we're strong for them. We're all able to lean on each other & that's what family is about. Being there for one another. Jaime lost a baby a couple months ago & it crushed us...

There have been so many of our friends going through tough times & very tough losses. It's been a rough year all around. We pray for them every day. We hope to get the same in return. We are here for all of you, please know that & if you need to talk... we ARE here. Promise. No matter what time.

LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE.
This has been my motto & not a day goes by without me trying to fulfill every single one of them each & every day. It surrounds me in our apartment to remind me to do each one. I'm full of life, I love to laugh, and yearn to love. I have so much of each and willing to share with anyone willing to give me the chance. Matt is my rock. I've said that from the beginning. I don't know where I'd be or WHO I'd be if I had never met him. He truly is my life partner... my one & only... he's the truest love.. and my best friend.

I can only hope that 2011 is a better year than 2010 has been made out to be. I'm not doing this to count my woes. I'm doing this so that I can count my blessings... and maybe you, too. I know that if we are all there for each other, praying for each other, we can conquer any bad thing that comes our way. We just have to believe and have faith in Christ.

almost 5 months reunited...

So, yes... it has been almost 5 months since I have last blogged. Weird. I know.
Matt and I have been married for about the same amount of time as well. Weird, again. Weird, because I am MARRIED.... it is still crazy to wake up & there be someone else there every morning. And to have a different name, and a new ring on my finger. But, it's all of wonderful that wonderful can be. :)
So much has happened since I have written last. Wow. Hmm.. Maybe I should get you all up to date on Matt & I. :)
The Honeymoon to Disney World was everything GREAT! We did not want to leave.... it was such a short trip. 2 of our 5 days being traveling days took out a lot of our us time. But nonetheless, it was good.
We've been to 3 weddings since we got married lol... it has been a very short time, too. :) We have our ups. We have our downs. But, at the end of the day we still love each other and are fighting to make our relationship stronger. It's all a learning process, everyday. We both LOVE being married to each other. Matt is so great with helping out with the chores, too. He can't stand dishes sitting in the sink, or the apartment really messy. It's nice to have him be like that, because I have very little time to deal with it. I'm still in school, and this semester has been especially hectic, so it's been hard keeping up with my homework and work schedule much less the tidiness of the apartment. He really is great. There are times that I just sit here and cry because of how bad the apartment's in a mess, but just don't have the time to get to it. lol... I am a big ball of emotions, still. I guess I always will be.
Our lives have been basically the same, besides living together and paying bills together. He works, I work & go to school. The only issue is our schedules & them being completely opposite. He's been working as the Assistant Meat Manager at Kroger in Hickory Hollow. As of today, he was offered to transfer to the Memorial blvd Kroger here in Murfreesboro. After meeting with the store manager and some others, he took the job there & will probably be starting in a couple weeks. However, he had applied for a Manager position with the La Vergne Kroger, and foudn out today that he did not get that job. But, at least he's in Murfreesboro now, and will be saving money that way in gas, at least. We have been really hoping to start a new chapter in our lives by getting a house, but that dream will have to come another night. It really kind of upset me that we can't afford even a small house right now, but I can't complain-- at least I have a roof over my head at all. I just really want something a bit bigger to be comfortable and not cramped like we are now. Even if it was only more square footage in the bedroom, I'd be happy. Beggars can't be choosers. I'm still at Reeves-Sain, still making half a dollar less than I was making at my previous job... and now with much less hours. She didn't like my availability with school, and took it out on my schedule... so I get 8 hours most weeks... and some weeks can get 4-5 hours more on Saturdays. So, anywhere in the ballpark of 8-13 hours a week = a very small paycheck in 2 weeks. Most weeks I open my paycheck, I'm lucky to get $100. That's been a big challenge, and an upset as well because I am used to paying all my bills on my own. For the most part I can, but there's times where I'm asking for money from Matt. Which is fine since he's my hubby, but I'm very independent when it comes to money. And I need all new tires on my car and a chek-up on it because it's not running as well... and I can't even do that since I'm not making any money basically. I really wish a new job would come up. It doesn't help that there are only 11 listings in the ads of the newspaper each day & the majority of those being qualified nursing jobs and the like.. so not much for lowly ole' me.
Anyways, enough of the sad stories. We're doing well, Bella's doing well.... everything's good on our side. Bella is 8 months old now, and prob. almost 9 lbs. Last we weighed her, she was 8.5 lbs. :) She's going to be SO cute on Halloween.... you'll have to wait for another update to see what she is though! :) Should be fun. Sorry this went so long. Maybe I can try to get some sleep now! :)
Sorry this has become long.

2... 2....2 .... 2 days left! (Well, less NOW!)

Who would've thought of all this last minute stuff?!?!?!! lol.... All these small details you could never think of! I didn't have a guest book table, guest book pen, a basket for the programs... haha... But now I have them all! We are currently working on a time frame for everyone to walk out and what music they will walk out to. It's a bit stressful, but I think it's going well. Everyone's coming in tomorrow for the most part & I can't wait for our wedding party dinner! It's going to be fun!! :)After the dinner, me and my girls are getting together for my Bachelorette Party!!! That should be GREAT fun! Just ready to get the show on the road now!!

"I tried to put the tea in the cup/glass cabinet..."

So, this is just ONE of my lastest doings. I was getting a glass of tea at Matt's parent's house and I was trying to put the tea back into the cabinet instead of the frigerator. lol!
Apparently, once you get into the last 10-ish days until your wedding, your mind starts going crazy and you get your words all flip-flopped. Yesterday, I couldn't say anything right! And today, I was thinking people said something other than what they really said. Ha ha! So watch out if you are getting married or when you do! It'll get you too! :)
We just bought our programs last night, so now all we have to do is type up the layout and print them off. We finished our favors on Thursday night... that was a very time consuming job, but glad it's over.
I still need to get a guest book and pen... haven't had any luck finding one I really like. And there's no time to really order a nice one and it get here in time since there's only 8 days until the wedding. We also need to finalize all the music for the wedding and whatnot.
I'm completely sure there'll be something we have completely forgotten by that day, but all we can say is, "Oh, well!" Can't really do anything about it, it happens. I'm just glad it's finally getting here!

Hmm.... 19 days....

Wow, 2 weeks and 5 days.... and I'm going to be MARRIED! I can't wait! Especially for DISNEYYYYYYY!!!!!!

I'm still having trouble with finding the right shoes... if all else fails... I'm going BAREFOOT! haha :) It will need to be hemmed though basically any route I take unless I decide to kill myself with some CRAZY heels... but all is good. I'm not stressed about it. :)

I just want to say, that I have THE BEST people in my life!!!! We have gotten such great gifts/advice from everyone and I am sooo blessed to have them (you) in my life! I couldn't ask for a greater group of friends and family. You have all gone above and beyond for us, and you really should'nt have. But we DO APPRECIATE each and every thing you have given us! You do not even know how much it means to us. A LOT!!!! I cannot wait to see everyone at the wedding!!! It's going to be so much fun!!!!! :D

WE LOVE YOU ALLLL!!!!!!

23 Days & Counting!!!! Well, actually 22 days and 23 hours...

But who's really keeping up?! ha ha :)

I had my 2nd ever bridal shower yesterday. My work family (Reeves-Sain) threw me a shower, and it was awesome! Best food ever! Thanks to everyone for that! I got some great stuff! They are sooo nice and very loving and giving! My bridesmaid, Jessica, wrote everything down for me and I greatly appreciate her for doing that for me! Tomorrow, our church is throwing us our own shower, and I can't wait! I love having showers they are SO fun! :)

I think about the ONLY thing Matt & I are lacking for the wedding are rental chairs for the actual wedding. There are several places in Middle Tennessee to get them, they are just greatly overpriced! So, we've been bargain searching! ha ha I think Matt's decided on the place, though, so that's GOOD!

I ordered my flowers about a week ago, and they SHOULD get here the Friday before the wedding. I'm sooo excited, they are soo pretty and can't wait to see them! I just hope they come in on time so we can get everything put together! My mom has been working on some simple center pieces for the reception and the table linens. Our favors came in yesterday, so that was awesome!!! I'm not telling what they are... but I hope everyone will like them! They are cute! :D We will start filling our favor boxes probably next week. Not sure if I said the last time I blogged, but my wedding dress came in a couple weeks ago, so that's in my possession! YAYY!!! It's SO pretty.... :)

I think I'm getting pretty excited about this big event! ha ha... It's been very stressful for me, but things are winding down as it seems, so hopefully I've done all I can except walk down that aisle with my Grandfather!!!! :D <3>

Matt has been GREAT throughout this whole process, and I'm just so blessed to have him in my life and to be my husband! He is just really amazing to me, and I can't wait to be his wife!!!!