Twitchy Eyes..

So, I didn't have a twitch when I woke up this morning, or for the majority of the day at work. It happened after Matt came to see me at like 10:00 and told me he'd done something I had asked him previously not to do, and I started to think more about it. It has to do with the wedding and the finances of it... I'm getting stressed out again. I'm not even sure if we're going to have the money to FINISH paying what we've already started paying for on it and get the rest of everything else we need paid for. We can't postpone, because I am NOT NOT NOT just going to eat the money we already paid! And we've already printed out 95% of the invitations, printed out the rsvp's, and sent out the save the dates... WHICH we bought ourselves, and can no longer afford to buy anything else b/c we spent too much on ink. Way more than we ever wanted. :( We've already paid for pretty much half of the venue, and there's not a way to push the wedding to a different date without it costing another arm and leg. We've also already paid half of the bill for the place that my mom and grandparents and some others will stay in and that will also cost another arm and a leg to cancel those reservations and move them. We haven't even made a dent in the cost of our photography... Only half of my wedding dress is paid for, too.
I really wish a certain someone, a certain GROOM TO BE, would have just let me have my way go to the courthouse or VEGAS and then just have a big reception or something. I know that it's not really what I wanted, but I knew it would save some money at least. I really wish that the $2400 that I have gotten for the wedding would be enough to actually pay for a wedding these days. But, it's not.

Geez, why do I have to cry? This is why I'm stressed:

All of the wedding money that had been saved up for me by certain someones got used to buy their stupid alcohol that they are addicted to (about 10 bottles, AT LEAST, of the biggest bottle of Captain Morgan you CAN buy), and $500 of it went towards some STUPID STUPID STUPID Nascar car's. Matt and I have tried to pay for stuff, but with our very little paid part-time jobs, we can't. I just feel like I am not even a part of the picture... that was what the money that was saved up for, but not what is has been used for... and now I don't even know if I can pay for the rest of my stuff.. I asked my dad for more money, but he won't even give me any. It's because someone decided it'd be better to quit their job and be out of a job for going on 6 or so months now! Get your butt up and get a job!

Yes, I know GOD will provide... but I don't feel this is "important" enough for Him to provide for. There will be way better things He can provide for us later on down the road...
It's just that they said they'd pay for it, but seriously, what is $2400 going to get you if you have an actual wedding in 2009????? I guess we'll just ask for money as our wedding gifts to pay for the wedding! I don't want to do that b/c we could use the money for bills and other things after the wedding... but what am I supposed to do???

THIS IS WHY I HAVE A TWITCHY EYE!